IF YOU THINK YOU'RE DUMB ABOUT COMPUTERS,
READ THIS, YOU'LL FEEL
Take heart, anyone among you who believes he or she is
technologically challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin" yet.
This is an
excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any
"Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking
"Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse
was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out
be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his
computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting,
technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper
holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send"
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his
keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his
bathtub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day,
then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was
enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad and
invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad
"invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing
documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it
"couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning
computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still
couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't
get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer
was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she
pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed
foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned
out to be
the computer's mouse...
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand
new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged
it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen.
When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she
asked, "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang
for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It
put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When
it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The
user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied removing
10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because
am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?
How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything
promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he
couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been
using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it
had snapped it off the drive.
11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with
her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The
woman responded, "No,
my desk is next to the door. But that is
a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under
window and his printer is working fine."
12. And last but not least:
TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape
at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"