IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT SEVERAL
NEW COMPUTER VIRUSES ARE OUT -
NEW COUPUTER VIRUSES FOUND:
The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses
of mass destruction.
The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes
little purple hearts to appear on screen.
The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.
The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer then e-mails
everyone about what it did.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files and leaves, but
will be back.
The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB then
slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB.
The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't
The Michael Jackson Virus - Attacks only minor files
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy,
then discards it through Windows